“Don’t ask, Don’t tell” abolished in Rhode Island schools

The “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy at Center Fells public schools, RI has decided to repeal their “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy concerning students whose parents are assholes.  The policy ensured that neither staff nor students could enquire about a particular student’s parents “asshole disposition.”

Chairperson Linda Blow of the Center Fells school committee says, “We feel that all students should have the right to reveal their parents’ asshole nature, if they so choose.  Just because a student has one or more parents who are, indeed, assholes must not define the student, him- or herself, as an asshole, too.”  On the other hand, if the student wishes to be identified as either “child of asshole parents” or an asshole, him- herself, that right will not be suppressed any longer.

Devan Deets, a seventh grader, says, “Yeah, I’m an asshole, and I’m proud of it!  But my parents don’t define themselves as assholes; they’re moderate jerks.”

It isn’t clear if the policy will extend to parents who define themselves as “Moderate Jerks” or not.

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